God is real and so am I

It was terrible on monday. I went for my make-up session at TK's place. We talked about things in church and shared about leadership.... And eventually, the Y and K leaders were asked how come we come late for services and do not seem to own the service and is so passive about it.

I thought maybe i can just not say anything about it, just keep quiet... let it pass.... and then just make a concerted effort to be on time... and that was what i have been trying to do! But each time, the same thing happens. Either the taxis do not come or we would oversleep. I guess we could have more control over the latter.

Yes! And that will be what we will do and have been trying to do and will do it even better by just planning time for travel using the mercedes vehicle. Or is it another brand name now? The bus is usually more reliable than the taxis even though it is going to take a longer time. Coming service is Easter service.... and i wouldn't want to be late. Not even in the future.

I shared about how i felt leading the K Min. It was tough being pushed into the leadership role w/o ample preparation and it seems like i was not prepared for it even though i was willing. Did i believe in God's power and guidance and leading and grace? Just like how it was with Gideon that God would use the least to demonstrate his glory and power. I did believed. But i guess i felt disillusioned. Now, what am i going to do? I thought about it and have prayed. Surrendered my past disappointments and discouragements too. And this is what i will do. I will stand in my new position as a K leader and lead in a position that i can grow in. Not going to allow myself to feel that something has been taken from me and hence have that feeling of being cheated. And when things are happening not according to what i thought it should be, i would pray and i believe that God would reason out with me about his plans. His plans are always good even though i do not understand it. So, i will not drag myself to serve, but to serve with joy. I will contribute and not be quiet. I will try to be more bubbly like what other people said i used to be... but i seriously think that this bubbliness has been much reduced because i have grown much older. =) Yupz.. and that will be what i do. God be with me.

Just yesterday, God filled me afresh and i could just sense His presence in the midst of us so strongly. Other than physical sensations, there was this assurance that indeed He will be with me even though i may walk through the valleys. Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him in all the earth.....